lakischasmith, Author at Moms of Color

Posted on April 22, 2025April 22, 2025 by lakischasmith — Leave a comment

When Pain Speaks Loudly: What Parents Can Learn from Kanye West’s Recent Confession

Recently, artist and cultural figure Ye (formerly known as Kanye West) made headlines after releasing a song and social media post describing troubling sexual experiences that took place during his childhood. While the full scope and context of these events are still being processed by the public, the emotional weight of his message reveals something deeper—the often hidden wounds of childhood exposure to sexuality and the silence that can follow for years.

As parents, caregivers, and community leaders, moments like these urge us to pause—not to judge or debate someone’s truth—but to reflect on how we can create safer, more emotionally healthy environments for our own children. Here’s what we can take away:

1. Early Exposure Matters

Ye shared that he and a cousin were exposed to adult materials found in the home, which led to inappropriate behaviors between them. This is not uncommon. Research shows that early exposure to sexual content—especially without context or adult guidance—can confuse a child’s understanding of healthy relationships and boundaries.

What Parents Can Do:

Monitor what your children have access to in the home (online, magazines, etc.).
Use age-appropriate language to begin early conversations about bodies, privacy, and respect.
Let them know they can ask you questions without fear or shame.

2. Curiosity Needs Guidance

Children are naturally curious about their bodies and relationships. Without trusted adults to guide them, they may turn to each other, media, or misinformation. Ye’s experience reminds us of how important early and honest communication is.

What Parents Can Do:

Teach children that curiosity is normal, but boundaries are essential.
Reinforce the idea of personal space and the right to say “no.”
Use books or resources designed to teach kids about healthy touch and consent.

3. Guilt Can Last for Years

Ye expressed a heavy burden of guilt, linking those early childhood experiences to his cousin’s later struggles. Whether or not there’s a direct link, it highlights how unprocessed trauma or confusion in childhood can manifest in adulthood in complex ways.

What Parents Can Do:

If your child shares something uncomfortable or confusing, stay calm and listen with care.
Don’t dismiss or punish their honesty—validate their feelings.
Seek professional support if your child has experienced or witnessed something inappropriate.

4. Your Child Needs a Safe Space to Talk

One of the most heartbreaking parts of many abuse stories—whether direct or indirect—is the silence. Sometimes children don’t even realize something was inappropriate until years later. Your job is to make it clear they can always come to you.

What Parents Can Do:

Regularly check in with your children about how they’re feeling—emotionally and socially.
Use open-ended questions like, “Has anyone ever made you feel weird or uncomfortable?”
Emphasize that they will never be in trouble for speaking up.

5. Healing Requires Compassion and Truth

Ye’s revelation is raw and deeply personal. Whether you agree with how he shared it or not, it’s a reminder that healing doesn’t always come in perfect packaging. Many adults are walking around with childhood wounds that were never addressed.

What Parents Can Do:

Address your own trauma if you haven’t already. Your healing helps you parent better.
Consider family therapy if there are past or present issues that need attention.
Show your children what it looks like to feel pain, express it safely, and grow from it.

In Closing

This isn’t just about a celebrity’s story—it’s about all of our stories. It’s about breaking cycles of silence, shame, and misunderstanding. As parents, you have the power to shape the environment your children grow up in—one where truth is welcomed, and safety is a daily practice.

If you or someone you know needs help navigating a similar experience, please reach out to resources like:

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): www.rainn.org

Your child’s emotional safety starts with awareness, honesty, and love. Let this moment remind us to listen a little closer, talk a little more often, and protect a little more fiercely.

Lakischa Smith creator of Moms of Color

Posted on January 19, 2025January 10, 2025 by lakischasmith

Hood Healing: Self-Care for Moms Who Grew Up in Chaos

Motherhood is hard enough, but when you grew up in chaos, it can feel like you’re constantly trying to rewrite your story while living it. Maybe you had to raise yourself, maybe love felt conditional, or maybe survival mode was your default setting. But guess what? You’ve made it through every challenge thrown your way—and that means you have the strength to change your mindset, redefine your life, and use your past as fuel for your future.

Turning Pain into Purpose

Hood healing isn’t just about coping—it’s about thriving. It’s about smiling through the chaos not because life is easy, but because you refuse to be broken by it. Your past doesn’t define you; it prepares you. Every hardship you’ve endured has built resilience, and that resilience is your greatest asset.

How to Reframe Your Struggles & Use Them for Growth

1. Recognize Your Power

You have survived things that would have broken others. Instead of seeing yourself as someone who suffered, see yourself as someone who overcame. Remind yourself: If I made it through that, I can make it through anything.

2. Reframe Your Story

Instead of saying, I went through hard times, try saying, I learned valuable lessons that made me stronger. Your past isn’t just pain; it’s a blueprint for your growth and a reminder of how far you’ve come.

3. Use the Chaos as Motivation

The things that once held you back can now push you forward. If you grew up without stability, you can create it for yourself and your children. If you were told you weren’t enough, prove to yourself that you are more than enough. Your struggles aren’t obstacles—they’re stepping stones.

4. Build a Mentality of Abundance

Instead of focusing on what you lacked, focus on what you’re creating. Healing is about choosing joy, even when it’s hard. It’s about seeing the good, finding laughter in the madness, and knowing that better days are ahead.

5. Smile Through It, But Feel Through It Too

Healing doesn’t mean ignoring your pain—it means transforming it. Laugh when you can, cry when you need to, and remember that both are signs of strength. Your emotions are valid, and your healing journey is uniquely yours.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

When you stop seeing yourself as someone who’s struggling and start seeing yourself as someone who’s winning, everything changes. Your past didn’t break you—it prepared you. Your hardships didn’t define you—they refined you.

You are strong, you are capable, and you have the power to turn your past into purpose.

Final Thoughts

You are not just surviving—you are thriving. You are not just pushing through—you are rising. And every time you choose to smile, heal, and move forward, you are breaking cycles and creating a better future for yourself and your children. The chaos may have shaped you, but it does not own you.

Take a deep breath, mama. You are unstoppable.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Meet Lakischa Smith, a proud mother and a dedicated public health advocate. With a Bachelor’s from Dillard University and a Master’s in Public Health from Florida International University, she’s committed to sharing honest narratives about black motherhood. Lakischa believes in fostering sisterhood to combat the pervasive forces of white supremacy, and empowering African American women to be agents of change for future generations. She asserts that recognizing and addressing our community’s struggles is crucial, for healing is the key to moving forward. Armed with the power of education and a deep belief in collective action, Lakischa is determined to ensure that the issues impacting African American parenthood aren’t just seen—they’re addressed and resolved.

Posted on January 17, 2025January 10, 2025 by lakischasmith

Moon Cycles & Motherhood: Honoring Your Natural Rhythms

Moon Cycles & Motherhood: Honoring Your Natural Rhythms

Did you know the moon can help guide us in how we feel and move through life? Just like the moon changes in the sky, our bodies and emotions also have cycles. For moms, paying attention to the moon’s phases can be a great way to find balance, take care of ourselves, and feel more connected to nature.

Understanding Moon Cycles

The moon moves through different shapes every month. These are called phases. Each phase has a different energy that can affect how we feel:

New Moon 🌑 – A time to rest and set goals. Think of it as a fresh start!
Waxing Moon 🌒 – This is when the moon grows bigger. It’s a great time to try new things and be creative.
Full Moon 🌕 – The moon is at its brightest! This is when we have the most energy and feel excited.
Waning Moon 🌘 – The moon starts getting smaller. This is a time to slow down, let go of stress, and relax.

How Moms Can Use Moon Cycles

The moon can remind us when to work hard and when to take a break. Here’s how you can follow the moon to help with parenting and self-care:

New Moon: Take some quiet time for yourself. Set small goals for the month ahead.
Waxing Moon: Try fun activities with your kids! Paint, cook, or start a new hobby.
Full Moon: Plan family time! Have a game night, go outside, and enjoy feeling full of energy.
Waning Moon: Clean up your home, do a relaxing activity, and get ready for the next cycle.

Does Science Support This?

Some people believe the moon affects our sleep, moods, and energy. Studies show the full moon might change how well we sleep and make people feel more awake. However, there is no strong proof that periods and moon cycles are always linked. Scientists are still learning more about this!

Easy Ways to Follow the Moon

Keep a Moon Journal – Write down how you feel during different moon phases.
Have a Moon Night – Pick one night a month to go outside, look at the moon, and talk about feelings with your kids.
Plan Your Schedule with the Moon – Try new things when the moon is growing and rest more when it’s getting smaller.

Final Thoughts

Paying attention to the moon can help moms feel more balanced and in control. It’s a fun and natural way to stay connected with yourself and your family. Next time you see the moon, think about how it might be guiding you!

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on January 15, 2025January 10, 2025 by lakischasmith

Why Every Mom Deserves a Solo Date (And How to Plan One!)

Why Every Mom Deserves a Solo Date (And How to Plan One!)

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but it can also be exhausting, overwhelming, and all-consuming. As moms, we pour so much into our children, partners, and responsibilities that we often forget to pour into ourselves. That’s why every mom deserves a solo date—a special time dedicated to self-care, self-discovery, and pure enjoyment without any guilt.

The Importance of Solo Dates for Moms

Reconnecting with Yourself – When was the last time you did something just for you? Solo dates give you the space to remember who you are beyond being a mother.
Reducing Stress – Stepping away from responsibilities, even briefly, can refresh your mind and spirit, helping you to show up as a more present and energized mother.
Boosting Confidence – Spending time alone builds self-love and reminds you that you are enough, just as you are. Engaging in activities that bring you joy fosters a sense of self-worth.
Modeling Self-Care – When your children see you taking care of yourself, they learn the importance of balance and boundaries. This teaches them that self-care is not selfish but necessary.
Enhancing Creativity – Time alone allows your mind to wander and explore new ideas. You may discover new interests, hobbies, or solutions to challenges in motherhood and life.

How to Plan the Perfect Solo Date

1. Choose a Date & Time

Pick a time that works best for you and commit to it—just like you would for any important appointment. Treat it as sacred time for yourself, and don’t let other obligations take priority over it.

2. Decide on Your Activity

Your solo date should be something that brings you joy and relaxation. Here are some ideas:

Café or Bookstore Visit – Enjoy a warm drink and a good book, or simply soak in the peaceful atmosphere.
Spa Day or Bubble Bath Night – Pamper yourself with a luxurious bath, face mask, or even a professional spa treatment.
Nature Walk or Beach Stroll – Reconnect with peace and nature by taking a walk in a park or along the shore.
Movie Night (Alone!) – Watch that film you’ve been wanting to see without interruptions or compromise.
Creative Escape – Try painting, journaling, knitting, or a fun DIY project to spark creativity.
Music and Movement – Dance freely in your living room, do yoga, or attend a dance class to release energy and stress.
Take Yourself Out to Dinner – Enjoy a solo dining experience at your favorite restaurant. Savor the meal, and enjoy your own company.
Staycation or Mini-Retreat – Book a night at a hotel or an Airbnb for an extended solo experience away from your usual surroundings.

3. Set the Mood

Make it special! Wear something that makes you feel confident, play your favorite music, and fully embrace the experience. Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated—this is your moment to feel valued and cared for.

4. Unplug & Be Present

Turn off notifications, put your phone on silent, and allow yourself to be fully in the moment without distractions. Social media can wait—this is your personal escape.

5. Reflect & Celebrate Yourself

After your solo date, take a moment to appreciate yourself for making time for YOU. Maybe even journal about how you felt, what you enjoyed, and what you want to do next. Acknowledge that your well-being matters and that you are worthy of prioritizing yourself.

Final Thoughts

Every mom deserves joy, rest, and time to herself—not just occasionally, but regularly. A solo date is not selfish; it’s an act of self-love and an investment in your well-being. By making space for yourself, you become a more fulfilled and balanced person, which benefits not just you but your family as well.

So, what’s stopping you? Plan your solo date today, prioritize your joy, and reclaim your peace, mama!

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on January 12, 2025January 10, 2025 by lakischasmith

Sacred Sunday: How to Create a Weekly Ritual of Rest

Sacred Sunday: How to Create a Weekly Ritual of Rest

In a world that constantly demands our attention, taking time to rest is a revolutionary act. For mothers, caregivers, and anyone carrying the weight of responsibility, Sacred Sunday can be a transformative way to reclaim peace and prioritize self-care. Creating a weekly ritual of rest allows you to reset, nourish your spirit, and prepare for the week ahead with intention. Here’s how to design your own Sacred Sunday routine:

1. Set the Intention for Rest

Rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Make a commitment to dedicate Sundays to stillness, peace, and rejuvenation. Let go of guilt and remind yourself that when you rest, you show up better for yourself and those around you.

2. Unplug & Slow Down

Reduce distractions by limiting social media, emails, and unnecessary obligations. Instead, engage in slow, mindful activities that bring you joy—like reading, journaling, or simply sitting in silence.

3. Create a Soothing Atmosphere

Your environment plays a huge role in relaxation. Light candles, diffuse essential oils, or play soft music. Make your space a sanctuary that invites calmness and serenity.

4. Nourish Your Body & Soul

Prepare a comforting meal or drink a warm cup of tea. Sacred Sunday is a time to honor your body—whether through stretching, deep breathing, or taking a luxurious bath. Whatever makes you feel nurtured, lean into it.

5. Engage in Reflective Practices

Journaling, meditation, or prayer can help center your mind and emotions. Take time to reflect on the past week and set loving intentions for the days ahead. Ask yourself: What do I need to release? What do I need to invite in?

6. Honor Your Boundaries

Let family and friends know that Sundays are sacred. Decline activities that drain you and instead, choose rest unapologetically. This is your time to refill your cup.

7. End the Day with Gratitude

Close out Sacred Sunday by expressing gratitude for the time you allowed yourself to rest. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to the abundance already present in your life.

Final Thoughts

A weekly ritual of rest is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself. Sacred Sunday is about creating space for stillness, restoration, and alignment—so that you can move through life feeling grounded and replenished.

Make it your own. Make it sacred. And most importantly, make it consistent.

Your rest matters. Honor it

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on January 10, 2025January 10, 2025 by lakischasmith

Raising Children While Healing Your Inner Child

Healing your inner child while mothering

Motherhood is a journey of love, sacrifice, and growth, but for many of us, it’s also a path toward healing wounds we didn’t even realize we had. As we nurture our children, we often find ourselves facing parts of our past that were never fully healed. The process of raising children while healing your inner child is one of the most profound and transformative experiences a mother can go through.

Recognizing the Inner Child Within You

Your inner child is the part of you that still carries the emotions, experiences, and unmet needs from your own childhood. If you grew up in an environment where emotional support was lacking, boundaries were unclear, or your needs were overlooked, those wounds don’t just disappear. Instead, they show up in how we parent, react, and handle emotions.

When you find yourself overreacting to your child’s behavior, struggling to show affection, or feeling triggered by certain situations, it may be your inner child calling out for healing. Acknowledging this is the first step toward breaking generational cycles and raising your children with more intention and love.

Healing While Parenting

So how do you navigate the delicate balance of parenting while tending to your own unhealed wounds? Here are some practical steps:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Many of us were raised in environments where expressing emotions was discouraged. Instead of suppressing your feelings, allow yourself to sit with them, process them, and validate them. When your child expresses big emotions, use it as an opportunity to remind yourself that feelings are not bad—they are simply a part of being human.

2. Reparent Yourself as You Parent

Ask yourself: What did I need as a child that I didn’t receive? More patience? More reassurance? More freedom to express yourself? Whatever it is, begin to give that to yourself now while also providing it for your child. It’s never too late to heal, and in doing so, you’re modeling emotional well-being for your little one.

3. Pause Before Reacting

Parenting can be triggering, especially if you were raised in a household where punishment or yelling was the norm. Instead of repeating patterns you experienced, practice pausing before reacting. Ask yourself, Am I responding to my child, or am I reacting from an old wound? Take a deep breath, and choose a response that aligns with the kind of parent you want to be.

4. Prioritize Self-Compassion

Healing your inner child is not about blaming yourself or your parents—it’s about awareness and growth. Be kind to yourself as you navigate motherhood and healing simultaneously. Some days you’ll get it right, and some days you won’t. That’s okay. Offer yourself the same grace you give your child.

5. Create New Traditions & Safe Spaces

One of the most powerful ways to heal generational wounds is to create new, healthier traditions with your children. Whether it’s practicing open communication, bedtime affirmations, or family check-ins, these small shifts help build a foundation of safety, love, and emotional security.

The Beauty of Breaking Cycles

Healing while raising children is challenging, but it’s also incredibly beautiful. Every time you choose patience over frustration, love over fear, and connection over control, you’re rewriting the story—not just for yourself, but for your children and the generations that follow.

You don’t have to be a perfect mother to be a healing one. By simply showing up, doing the work, and making conscious efforts to grow, you are already giving your children something priceless: a healthier, more self-aware version of yourself.

As you pour love into your children, don’t forget to pour some into yourself. Healing is a lifelong journey, and motherhood is one of its most powerful teachers.

You are doing the work, and that is enough.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on November 22, 2024November 19, 2024 by lakischasmith

The Flame of Legacy: Are You Passing Something Worth Carrying?

As Black mothers, we often hear the phrase “passing the torch” when it comes to raising our children. It’s a powerful metaphor—one that symbolizes handing down knowledge, values, and purpose to the next generation. But let’s take a moment to ask ourselves: Do I have a torch to pass? And, perhaps more importantly, Is my torch worth passing?

These questions aren’t about doubting ourselves as mothers—they’re about accountability and reflection. What are we teaching our children through our actions, our words, and the way we navigate the world? Are we preparing them to carry on a legacy of strength, love, and resilience, or are we unknowingly passing down fear, doubt, or unresolved pain?

What Is Your Torch?

Your torch is your legacy. It’s the values you live by, the lessons you teach, and the way you show up for your family and community. It’s built from the choices you make, the battles you fight, and the healing you commit to.

Think about it: Are you actively building a torch you want your child to carry? Is it a flame that represents empowerment, cultural pride, and the tools they’ll need to lead and make a difference? Or is it a flicker weighed down by unresolved wounds and unspoken lessons?

It’s okay if your torch isn’t perfect—none of ours are. But recognizing the areas where we can grow is the first step to creating a legacy that’s truly worth passing down.

Why the Torch Matters

The world our children are growing up in is full of challenges. They’ll face racism, systemic inequality, and moments that test their self-worth. But when they have a strong torch—a foundation of identity, resilience, and purpose—they’ll be better equipped to navigate those challenges and create change.

Our children look to us for guidance. They mimic what we do, listen to what we say (even when it doesn’t seem like it), and internalize how we handle life. When we show them what it looks like to lead with love, fight for justice, and take pride in who we are, we give them the tools to carry that flame into the future.

How to Build a Torch Worth Passing

Heal Your Own Wounds
Our children inherit more than just our genetics—they inherit our emotional and spiritual legacy. Take time to address your own pain and break cycles that no longer serve your family. Healing yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.
Model Leadership
Show your kids what it means to lead in small and big ways. Whether it’s volunteering in your community, standing up for what’s right, or simply being consistent in your values, your actions will teach them more than words ever could.
Celebrate Your Culture
Make sure your children understand the beauty of their heritage. Teach them about their history, their ancestors, and the traditions that connect them to something greater than themselves.
Pass Down Tools for Change
Equip your children with the skills and mindset to make a difference. Teach them about activism, community involvement, and the power of their voice. Remind them that they are part of a legacy of changemakers.

Preparing the Next Generation to Lead

Passing the torch isn’t just about what we teach our kids—it’s about what we leave behind. Are we creating a legacy that uplifts and empowers them? Are we showing them what it means to love themselves, their community, and their culture?

As you reflect on your torch, ask yourself: What kind of flame am I passing to my child? If it’s not yet the one you want to pass, there’s still time to build it.

At AfroYogiKids.com, we believe in creating spaces that help children build strong foundations of mindfulness, self-awareness, and cultural pride. These are the tools they’ll need to carry their torches with confidence and light the way for others.

Black mothers, the future of our communities depends on the torches we pass today. Let’s make sure our flames burn brightly, lighting a path for our children to lead, thrive, and continue building the legacy we’ve started.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on November 19, 2024November 19, 2024 by lakischasmith

Recent News, Same Old Story: Why Schools Were Never Designed to Teach Black History

The recent push in states like Florida to ban or restrict the teaching of Black history has sparked outrage, but let’s be honest—this isn’t new. For generations, schools have treated Black history as an afterthought, if they’ve addressed it at all. And even when they do, what they call “Black history” isn’t necessarily the truth our children deserve to learn.

When schools focus solely on slavery, segregation, and oppression, they fail to tell the full story. That isn’t Black history—it’s white history, centering on how white people enslaved, segregated, and oppressed us. The richness of our legacy—the empires we built, the revolutions we led, the art, science, and culture we contributed—is largely ignored. And if we’re being real, these government-run schools were never designed to teach that truth in the first place.

What’s Happening Now

In states across the country, there’s a wave of legislation aimed at erasing even the limited Black history currently taught in schools. Florida’s decision to reject an Advanced Placement African American Studies course is just one example. Officials argue that such courses lack “educational value” or violate laws banning discussions that might make students feel “discomfort” about race.

This effort to sanitize history is part of a larger agenda to control the narrative about race in America. By erasing lessons on systemic racism and the contributions of Black people, they’re shaping a version of history that centers whiteness and diminishes the truth of our experiences.

For Black mothers, this news isn’t just concerning—it’s a wake-up call. If we rely on schools to teach our children their history, we’re setting them up to grow up disconnected from their roots and their power.

Why This Matters for Our Kids

When our children don’t learn about their history, they lose more than facts—they lose the connection to their heritage. They miss out on the knowledge of who they are and the pride that comes from knowing they come from a legacy of greatness.

Black history isn’t just about oppression—it’s about resilience, brilliance, and transformation. It’s about the civilizations we built in Africa long before colonization. It’s about the inventors, scholars, and leaders who shaped the world. It’s about the cultural traditions that connect us to our ancestors and remind us of our strength.

And here’s the truth: Schools have never prioritized teaching this. Their version of history doesn’t celebrate our greatness because it was never meant to. It’s up to us as Black mothers to ensure our children learn the truth about who they are and where they come from.

The Fight for Our Legacy

The recent attacks on Black history in schools are a reminder that we cannot rely on anyone else to teach our children who they are. This has never been part of their agenda, and it never will be. As Black mothers, we must take control of the narrative, ensuring that our children know their true history—not the whitewashed version schools offer.

Taking Matters Into Our Own Hands

This isn’t just about reacting to the recent news—it’s about recognizing the ongoing responsibility we have to our children. Programs like AfroYogiKids.com provide opportunities for our kids to connect with their heritage in ways that schools simply won’t. Afro Yogi Kids offers a unique approach by blending Afrocentric themes with mindfulness and self-awareness, helping children build confidence and embrace their identity.

Visit AfroYogiKids.com to explore resources that celebrate our culture and empower our children. Together, we can rise above the erasure and ensure that our legacy is preserved for generations to come.

Black history is too powerful, too vital, and too transformative to be erased. It’s time to teach our children the truth—and remind them of the greatness they carry in their blood.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on August 22, 2024August 15, 2024 by lakischasmith

Beyond the Bounce Back: A Holistic Approach to Postpartum Healing

Pregnancy is a life-changing experience that brings with it immense joy, but it also presents numerous physical, emotional, and psychological challenges. The period following childbirth, often referred to as the “postpartum” phase, is a time of significant transformation for a woman’s body and mind. The notion of “bouncing back” after pregnancy, however, has often been portrayed in unrealistic terms, focusing primarily on quickly regaining pre-pregnancy physical appearance. In reality, postpartum recovery is about so much more than physical fitness—it’s about healing, adjusting to a new life, and embracing the changes with grace and patience.

Redefining “Bouncing Back”

The traditional idea of “bouncing back” often emphasizes returning to a pre-pregnancy body as quickly as possible, fueled by societal pressures and images of celebrity moms who seem to effortlessly shed baby weight in record time. However, this narrow focus overlooks the broader and more important aspects of recovery. True postpartum recovery involves a holistic approach that encompasses physical health, mental well-being, and emotional resilience.

1. Physical Recovery: Healing from the Inside Out

Pregnancy and childbirth are intense physical processes that take a toll on a woman’s body. From hormonal changes to physical alterations like weight gain, stretch marks, and changes in breast size, the body undergoes a tremendous transformation. After childbirth, it’s crucial to give the body time to heal.

Rest and Recovery: The postpartum period is a time for rest and recovery. Whether you’ve had a vaginal delivery or a C-section, your body needs time to heal. This can include allowing your abdominal muscles to come back together, giving your uterus time to shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size, and letting any tears or incisions heal properly.

Gentle Exercise: While there’s often pressure to jump back into intense exercise routines, it’s essential to start slow. Gentle exercises like walking, pelvic floor exercises, and postpartum yoga can help your body gradually regain strength and mobility. Always consult with your healthcare provider before starting any postpartum exercise routine.

Nutrition: Proper nutrition is vital for recovery. A balanced diet rich in vitamins, minerals, and protein helps support the healing process, provides energy, and can also support breastfeeding if you choose to do so. Remember, it’s not about restricting calories but about nourishing your body to aid in recovery.

2. Mental and Emotional Recovery: Embracing the Changes

The postpartum period is also a time of significant emotional and psychological adjustment. Hormonal shifts, lack of sleep, and the demands of caring for a newborn can contribute to feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even postpartum depression.

Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions after childbirth. From overwhelming joy to bouts of anxiety or sadness, all these feelings are valid. Acknowledge them without judgment and understand that it’s okay not to feel “okay” all the time.

Seek Support: Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can make a world of difference. This could include your partner, family members, friends, or a support group of other new moms. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it—whether it’s for a listening ear, practical support, or professional help from a therapist or counselor.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. The pressure to “bounce back” can often lead to negative self-talk or feelings of inadequacy. Remind yourself that recovery is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time. Celebrate small victories, whether it’s getting through a challenging day or simply taking a moment for yourself.

3. Redefining Identity: The New You

Motherhood brings a shift in identity that can sometimes feel overwhelming. The transition from being an individual to being responsible for another life can lead to a sense of loss or confusion about who you are outside of being a mother.

Embrace the Change: Recognize that it’s normal to feel a sense of identity shift after having a baby. Instead of trying to “get back to the old you,” embrace the new you that is emerging. This new identity includes all the wisdom, strength, and love that come with being a mother.

Rediscover Your Passions: While your priorities may have shifted, it’s important to make time for the things you love. Whether it’s a hobby, a career, or simply time spent with friends, reconnecting with these passions can help you feel more grounded and fulfilled.

Balance and Boundaries: Finding balance as a new mom can be challenging, but it’s important to set boundaries that allow you to take care of yourself as well as your baby. This might mean scheduling time for self-care, delegating tasks, or simply saying no when you need to.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey

Bouncing back after pregnancy is about more than just physical recovery—it’s about embracing the journey of becoming a mother, with all the changes and challenges that come with it. It’s about giving yourself the time and space to heal, both physically and emotionally, and redefining what it means to be your best self.

Rather than succumbing to societal pressures to quickly return to your pre-pregnancy self, focus on the things that truly matter: your health, your well-being, and the precious time spent bonding with your baby. Remember that every woman’s postpartum journey is unique, and there is no “right” way to recover. By prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and embracing the changes with compassion, you can emerge from the postpartum period not just as a stronger mother, but as a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Posted on August 20, 2024August 15, 2024 by lakischasmith

Parenting Through Overwhelm: Understanding the Feelings and Finding Solutions

Parenting is often described as one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but it can also be incredibly overwhelming. The responsibilities of raising children, managing a household, and balancing personal and professional commitments can leave even the most capable parents feeling exhausted and stressed. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, know that you are not alone—and that there are ways to navigate these challenges while taking care of yourself and your family.

The Reality of Parenting Overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed as a parent is a common experience, though it’s not often discussed openly. The demands of parenting are constant, and the pressures can accumulate quickly. Whether it’s the sleepless nights with a newborn, the challenges of managing a toddler’s tantrums, or the emotional complexities of raising a teenager, every stage of parenting brings its own set of difficulties.

For many parents, the sense of overwhelm can stem from a combination of factors:

Lack of Sleep: Sleep deprivation is a reality for many parents, especially those with young children. Over time, chronic lack of sleep can lead to irritability, difficulty concentrating, and heightened stress.
High Expectations: Parents often place high expectations on themselves to be perfect or to meet societal standards of what a “good” parent should be. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and stress when things don’t go as planned.
Balancing Multiple Roles: Juggling the roles of caregiver, partner, employee, and individual can be incredibly taxing. The constant need to switch between these roles can leave parents feeling pulled in too many directions at once.
Isolation: Many parents, especially new ones, may feel isolated or disconnected from their support networks. This can be exacerbated by the demands of parenting, which can make it difficult to find time for socializing or self-care.
Financial Stress: Raising children comes with significant financial responsibilities, and the pressure to provide for a family can contribute to feelings of overwhelm.

The Emotional Impact

When overwhelm sets in, it can manifest in various emotional and physical ways. You might find yourself feeling anxious, irritable, or easily frustrated. There may be moments when you feel like you’re failing as a parent or that you’re not doing enough for your children. Physically, you might experience fatigue, headaches, or even burnout. These feelings are valid, and acknowledging them is the first step toward finding solutions.

Solutions for Managing Parenting Overwhelm

While the challenges of parenting are real, there are strategies that can help you manage feelings of overwhelm and create a more balanced, sustainable approach to parenting.

1. Prioritize Self-Care

It’s easy to put your own needs on the back burner when you’re focused on caring for your children, but self-care is essential. Taking time for yourself—even if it’s just a few minutes each day—can help you recharge and better handle the demands of parenting. Self-care can include anything from taking a walk, meditating, reading a book, or enjoying a hot bath. The key is to find activities that help you relax and feel re-energized.

2. Seek Support

You don’t have to do it all alone. Reaching out to friends, family, or a support group can make a big difference. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re going through can alleviate some of the stress. Don’t hesitate to ask for help with childcare, household tasks, or even just a listening ear. If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in parenting or family issues.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Let go of the idea of perfection. Parenting is messy and unpredictable, and it’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your children. Recognize that it’s okay to have bad days and that you don’t need to have all the answers. Focus on doing your best rather than striving for an impossible standard.

4. Simplify Your Routine

Take a look at your daily routine and identify areas where you can simplify or delegate tasks. This might involve cutting back on activities that are not essential, delegating chores to other family members, or finding ways to streamline your responsibilities. Simplifying your routine can help reduce the sense of being overwhelmed and give you more time to focus on what truly matters.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded and reduce the emotional intensity of feeling overwhelmed. Simple mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, can be incorporated into your day, whether it’s during a moment of quiet or while you’re engaging with your children.

6. Take Breaks

It’s okay to take breaks when you need them. Whether it’s stepping outside for a few minutes, taking a short nap, or engaging in an activity you enjoy, giving yourself permission to take breaks can help you reset and return to your parenting duties with a clearer mind.

7. Focus on Connection

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to become disconnected from your children. Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong, try to find moments to connect with your kids, even in small ways. This could be as simple as sharing a hug, playing a game together, or talking about their day. These moments of connection can remind you why you love being a parent and provide a sense of fulfillment amid the chaos.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey

Parenting is a journey filled with highs and lows, and feeling overwhelmed is a natural part of that experience. The key is to recognize when you’re feeling this way and to take proactive steps to manage it. By prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and setting realistic expectations, you can navigate the challenges of parenting while maintaining your own well-being.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and to acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Your children don’t need a perfect parent—they need a loving, present, and resilient one. By taking care of yourself, you’re not only improving your own mental health but also setting a positive example for your children, teaching them the importance of balance, self-compassion, and resilience

With Love, Lakischa Smith