In our modern society, it’s not uncommon for parents to focus on the physical, intellectual, and emotional growth of their children. After all, these aspects directly impact a child’s journey through life. But what if we expanded this view to acknowledge a less tangible, yet equally important facet of our beings – our spirits?

Recognizing children as spirits means acknowledging the essence of who they truly are – eternal beings on a human journey. This perspective opens up a new way of parenting, shifting the focus from simply raising children to guiding souls.

What Does Raising Children as Spirits Mean?

When we look at children as spirits, we’re acknowledging that they are, in essence, spiritual beings having a human experience. This view allows us to honor their wisdom, individuality, and purpose, while also recognizing their innate potential for growth, empathy, and understanding.

By seeing our children as spirits, we respect them as unique individuals on their own spiritual journey, independent yet interconnected with us. This recognition urges us to guide, rather than dictate, encouraging them to learn, explore, and experience life in their own unique ways.

How Does This Change Our Parenting?

Raising children as spirits introduces a new dimension to parenting. It shifts the focus from meeting societal benchmarks and controlling behavior to fostering spiritual growth and nurturing their intrinsic qualities.

This approach encourages mindful parenting, emphasizing empathy, understanding, and connection. It means listening deeply to our children, trying to understand their experiences and emotions from their perspective. It’s about providing a safe space for them to express their feelings and thoughts openly, without judgment or criticism.

Raising children as spirits might also entail nurturing their spiritual practices. This could involve introducing them to meditation, mindfulness, yoga, or other spiritual traditions. It’s about allowing them the freedom to connect with the spiritual aspects of life in their own way.

What Does This Look Like?

Raising children as spirits may vary significantly from one family to another, reflecting our unique spiritual beliefs and practices. Here are some ways it might manifest:

1. Honoring Individuality: Parents encourage their children to explore their interests, passions, and curiosities, respecting their choices and decisions.
2. Fostering Empathy and Compassion: Parents cultivate an environment that promotes kindness, understanding, and respect for all beings.
3. Teaching Mindfulness: Children are introduced to practices like meditation and mindfulness, helping them to live in the present moment.
4. Promoting Open Dialogue: Open, honest conversations about spiritual matters become a norm, fostering deeper connections and mutual respect.
5. Modeling Spiritual Living: Parents embody their spiritual beliefs, inspiring their children through their actions rather than words.

What Are Spiritual Thinkers Saying?

Many spiritual thinkers emphasize that our true nature is spiritual, not physical. For instance, Deepak Chopra, a renowned spiritual teacher, states, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” This view reiterates the importance of recognizing the spiritual essence within us and our children.

This shift in perspective can revolutionize how we approach parenting. It encourages us to nurture the spiritual growth of our children and cultivate a deeper, more understanding connection with them. More than anything, it empowers us to guide them in their journey, celebrating their unique spirit as they explore their human experience.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Meet Lakischa Smith, a proud mother and a dedicated public health advocate. With a Bachelor’s from Dillard University and a Master’s in Public Health from Florida International University, she’s committed to sharing honest narratives about black motherhood. Lakischa believes in fostering sisterhood to combat the pervasive forces of white supremacy, and empowering African American women to be agents of change for future generations. She asserts that recognizing and addressing our community’s struggles is crucial, for healing is the key to moving forward. Armed with the power of education and a deep belief in collective action, Lakischa is determined to ensure that the issues impacting African American parenthood aren’t just seen—they’re addressed and resolved.

Raising Black children is an ongoing endeavor, a labor of love that extends beyond the confines of traditional parenting. It’s a continuous endeavor to counteract the media, books, songs, and other societal elements that perpetuate the myth that Black is less than any other race. Affirming the beauty, strength, and creativity inherent in Blackness, teaching our children about the significant contributions African Americans have made to this world, and encouraging them to stand up against injustices are all essential parts of this journey.

The Beauty of Blackness

Reaffirming the beauty of being Black is a crucial part of raising Black children. It is essential to provide children with a sense of pride in their heritage and to counter the negative stereotypes often perpetuated in society. Parents can do this by highlighting the accomplishments of Black individuals in history, emphasizing the strength and resilience of Black communities, and acknowledging the creativity that has led to countless inventions, fashion trends, and social changes.

Role Models That Look Like Them

Representation matters. It is important to expose Black children to role models that look like them – the readers, the writers, the artists, the philosophers, the scientists, and more. One of the ways to do this is through resources that highlight African American contributions. Organizations like Moms of Color offer a platform for sharing and celebrating the richness of Black motherhood, providing a source of inspiration and empowerment for both parents and children​¹​​²​.

Teaching Black History at Home

For children in public schools, it is especially important to complement their education with lessons on Black history at home. One approach is to make use of resources that emphasize African American contributions, such as books, documentaries, and online resources. This not only broadens their understanding of history but also instills a sense of pride in their heritage.

Counteracting White Supremacy

The job of filling the minds of Black children with knowledge, self-love, and resilience in the face of white supremacy is a constant one. It involves teaching them to challenge and question, equipping them with the tools to navigate a world that is often biased against them. Encouraging children to speak up against injustices and equipping them with the knowledge and confidence to do so is a significant part of this process. Afro Yogi Kids is a good resource that help children use their voices and practice Self-efficacy.

Ideas to Inspire Black Children

1. Introduce them to Black literature: Encourage them to read books by Black authors and featuring Black characters.
2. Highlight Black inventors and innovators: Teach them about the countless contributions Black individuals have made to science, technology, engineering, and math.
3. Exposure to Black art and culture: Introduce them to Black artists, musicians, and creatives, showcasing the rich cultural contributions of the Black community.
4. Teach them about Black activists: Share the stories of Black activists who have stood up against injustice, showing them that they too can make a difference.
5. Encourage them to engage with Black community events: Participation in community events can foster a sense of belonging and pride in their heritage.

The journey of raising Black children is one of continuous learning, affirmation, and empowerment. By equipping our children with knowledge and pride in their heritage, we can help them navigate the world with confidence.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Meet Lakischa Smith, a proud mother and a dedicated public health advocate. With a Bachelor’s from Dillard University and a Master’s in Public Health from Florida International University, she’s committed to sharing honest narratives about black motherhood. Lakischa believes in fostering sisterhood to combat the pervasive forces of white supremacy, and empowering African American women to be agents of change for future generations. She asserts that recognizing and addressing our community’s struggles is crucial, for healing is the key to moving forward. Armed with the power of education and a deep belief in collective action, Lakischa is determined to ensure that the issues impacting African American maternal health aren’t just seen—they’re addressed and resolved.

In the realm of child development, cognitive thinking is the centerpiece of learning, comprehension, and problem-solving. For Black children, nurturing these skills is not just a matter of academic success but a powerful tool to overcome societal challenges and propel future achievements.

Cognitive thinking refers to the brain’s ability to process information, remember, solve problems, and make decisions. It’s like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Encouraging cognitive thinking in the Black child provides a solid foundation for scholastic triumph, cultivates creativity, and equips them to navigate a complex world.

1. Start early and at home. Incorporating play-based learning, like puzzles and memory games, can significantly enhance cognitive thinking. Reading to your child, storytelling, and engaging them in conversations boosts their language skills and critical thinking[^1^].

2. Encourage curiosity. An environment that fosters curiosity and the freedom to ask questions fuels cognitive development. It not only builds knowledge but instills a lifelong love for learning.

3. Incorporate cultural and historical education. In the context of Black children, this is a powerful tool to build self-esteem, identity, and resilience[^2^]. Knowing their rich history and cultural legacy nurtures a sense of pride and a strong self-concept, key elements of cognitive development.

4. Finally, patience and encouragement go a long way. Celebrate your child’s achievements, no matter how small. This will build their confidence, encourage persistence, and promote a growth mindset.

In conclusion, fostering cognitive thinking in the Black child is a transformative step towards nurturing resilient, empowered individuals who are well-equipped to shape their future and influence their communities. This is more than an educational imperative; it’s a societal necessity for the advancement of the Black community.

References
[^1^] Fantuzzo, J., Perry, M. A., & McDermott, P. (2004). Preschool approaches to learning and their relationship to other relevant classroom competencies for low-income children. School Psychology Quarterly, 19(3), 212.
[^2^] Hughes, D., Rodriguez, J., Smith, E. P., Johnson, D. J., Stevenson, H. C., & Spicer, P. (2006). Parents’ ethnic-racial socialization practices: a review of research and directions for future study. Developmental Psychology, 42(5), 747.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Meet Lakischa Smith, a proud mother and a dedicated public health advocate. With a Bachelor’s from Dillard University and a Master’s in Public Health from Florida International University, she’s committed to sharing honest narratives about black motherhood. Lakischa believes in fostering sisterhood to combat the pervasive forces of white supremacy, and empowering African American women to be agents of change for future generations. She asserts that recognizing and addressing our community’s struggles is crucial, for healing is the key to moving forward. Armed with the power of education and a deep belief in collective action, Lakischa is determined to ensure that the issues impacting African American maternal health aren’t just seen—they’re addressed and resolved.

Co-parenting is often challenging, but it can be especially difficult when one parent is a narcissist. Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and desire for control. Co-parenting with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and can have a negative impact on both the parent and the child. However, there are strategies you can use to co-parent successfully with a narcissist.

Understanding Narcissistic Behavior

Before we discuss strategies for co-parenting with a narcissist, it’s essential to understand some of the traits and behaviors that are common in narcissistic individuals. Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and often believe they are superior to others. They lack empathy, struggle to form healthy relationships, and have an insatiable desire for control and admiration.

Narcissists often use manipulation and emotional abuse to control others, and they can be highly reactive when they feel challenged or criticized. They may engage in behaviors like gaslighting (making someone doubt their own reality), lying, or twisting the truth to get what they want. Co-parenting with a narcissist can be difficult, but it’s essential to understand the reasons behind their behavior to develop strategies to cope effectively.

Strategies for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

Co-parenting with a narcissist requires patience, planning, and a willingness to set boundaries. Here are some strategies for successful co-parenting with a narcissist:

1. Set Boundaries: Narcissists are known for their need for control, and co-parenting can be a perfect opportunity for them to exert their control. Establishing clear boundaries about communication, decision-making, and schedules can help prevent the narcissist from manipulating or controlling the situation. Use written agreements, such as a parenting plan or email communication, to help enforce these boundaries.
2. Keep Emotions in Check: Narcissists can be skilled at manipulating others and pushing buttons to get an emotional reaction. Stay calm and focused when dealing with a narcissistic co-parent, and avoid reacting to their provocations. Focus on the facts and try to avoid engaging in personal attacks or accusations.
3. Practice Empathy: While it can be challenging to empathize with a narcissist, try to see things from their perspective. Recognize that their behavior is often driven by their own insecurities and need for control. By understanding their perspective, you may be better equipped to manage their behavior and communicate effectively.
4. Involve a Neutral Third Party: Consider using a neutral third party, such as a mediator or therapist, to help manage communication and decision-making. A mediator can help diffuse conflicts and facilitate communication, while a therapist can help both parties work through their issues and develop strategies for healthy co-parenting.
5. Focus on the Child: The most important consideration in any co-parenting arrangement is the well-being of the child. Focus on what is best for the child and try to put your personal feelings aside. Keep the child’s needs and interests at the forefront of your decision-making.
6. Seek Professional Help: Co-parenting with a narcissist can be emotionally challenging and can impact your mental health. If you are struggling to cope, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist.

Here is an example list of boundaries that could be sent to a narcissistic co-parent:

1. Communication boundaries: Establish clear communication boundaries, such as limiting communication to email or text messages. Clearly define when communication will take place, and set expectations for a timely response.
2. Decision-making boundaries: Clearly define decision-making boundaries, such as which decisions will be made jointly, and which will be made independently. Consider creating a parenting plan to clearly outline these boundaries.
3. Personal boundaries: Set boundaries around personal space and time. Establish clear times when the narcissistic co-parent will not be allowed to visit or communicate with you.
4. Respect boundaries: Establish boundaries around respect and civility. Clearly communicate that name-calling, insults, or disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated.
5. Financial boundaries: Set clear boundaries around financial responsibilities and expectations. Establish how expenses will be divided, and set expectations for timely payment.
6. Parenting boundaries: Clearly define expectations around parenting behaviors and values. Set boundaries around discipline, screen time, and other important issues.
7. Emergency boundaries: Establish clear boundaries around emergency situations. Define what constitutes an emergency and what steps will be taken in case of an emergency.
8. Legal boundaries: Establish clear boundaries around legal issues. Define expectations around legal representation and decision-making.
9. Privacy boundaries: Establish clear boundaries around privacy. Define what information will be shared and what information will be kept confidential.
10. Consistency boundaries: Establish clear boundaries around consistency. Clearly define expectations around consistency in parenting behaviors, schedules, and routines.

These boundaries should be communicated clearly and assertively. It may be helpful to work with a therapist or mediator to establish these boundaries and communicate them effectively. Remember, setting clear boundaries is essential for establishing a healthy co-parenting relationship, and it is important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your child.

Conclusion

Co-parenting with a narcissist can be difficult, but it is possible to co-parent successfully with the right strategies in place. By understanding the reasons behind the narcissist’s behavior, setting boundaries, staying focused on the child’s needs, and seeking professional help, you can navigate the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist.

With Love, Lakischa Smith

Meet Lakischa Smith, a proud mother and a dedicated public health advocate. With a Bachelor’s from Dillard University and a Master’s in Public Health from Florida International University, she’s committed to sharing honest narratives about black motherhood. Lakischa believes in fostering sisterhood to combat the pervasive forces of white supremacy, and empowering African American women to be agents of change for future generations. She asserts that recognizing and addressing our community’s struggles is crucial, for healing is the key to moving forward. Armed with the power of education and a deep belief in collective action, Lakischa is determined to ensure that the issues impacting African American maternal health aren’t just seen—they’re addressed and resolved.