Motherhood is a journey of love, sacrifice, and growth, but for many of us, it’s also a path toward healing wounds we didn’t even realize we had. As we nurture our children, we often find ourselves facing parts of our past that were never fully healed. The process of raising children while healing your inner child is one of the most profound and transformative experiences a mother can go through.
Recognizing the Inner Child Within You
Your inner child is the part of you that still carries the emotions, experiences, and unmet needs from your own childhood. If you grew up in an environment where emotional support was lacking, boundaries were unclear, or your needs were overlooked, those wounds don’t just disappear. Instead, they show up in how we parent, react, and handle emotions.
When you find yourself overreacting to your child’s behavior, struggling to show affection, or feeling triggered by certain situations, it may be your inner child calling out for healing. Acknowledging this is the first step toward breaking generational cycles and raising your children with more intention and love.
Healing While Parenting
So how do you navigate the delicate balance of parenting while tending to your own unhealed wounds? Here are some practical steps:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Many of us were raised in environments where expressing emotions was discouraged. Instead of suppressing your feelings, allow yourself to sit with them, process them, and validate them. When your child expresses big emotions, use it as an opportunity to remind yourself that feelings are not bad—they are simply a part of being human.
2. Reparent Yourself as You Parent
Ask yourself: What did I need as a child that I didn’t receive? More patience? More reassurance? More freedom to express yourself? Whatever it is, begin to give that to yourself now while also providing it for your child. It’s never too late to heal, and in doing so, you’re modeling emotional well-being for your little one.
3. Pause Before Reacting
Parenting can be triggering, especially if you were raised in a household where punishment or yelling was the norm. Instead of repeating patterns you experienced, practice pausing before reacting. Ask yourself, Am I responding to my child, or am I reacting from an old wound? Take a deep breath, and choose a response that aligns with the kind of parent you want to be.
4. Prioritize Self-Compassion
Healing your inner child is not about blaming yourself or your parents—it’s about awareness and growth. Be kind to yourself as you navigate motherhood and healing simultaneously. Some days you’ll get it right, and some days you won’t. That’s okay. Offer yourself the same grace you give your child.
5. Create New Traditions & Safe Spaces
One of the most powerful ways to heal generational wounds is to create new, healthier traditions with your children. Whether it’s practicing open communication, bedtime affirmations, or family check-ins, these small shifts help build a foundation of safety, love, and emotional security.
The Beauty of Breaking Cycles
Healing while raising children is challenging, but it’s also incredibly beautiful. Every time you choose patience over frustration, love over fear, and connection over control, you’re rewriting the story—not just for yourself, but for your children and the generations that follow.
You don’t have to be a perfect mother to be a healing one. By simply showing up, doing the work, and making conscious efforts to grow, you are already giving your children something priceless: a healthier, more self-aware version of yourself.
As you pour love into your children, don’t forget to pour some into yourself. Healing is a lifelong journey, and motherhood is one of its most powerful teachers.
You are doing the work, and that is enough.
With Love, Lakischa Smith
Meet Lakischa Smith, a proud mother and a dedicated public health advocate. With a Bachelor’s from Dillard University and a Master’s in Public Health from Florida International University, she’s committed to sharing honest narratives about black motherhood. Lakischa believes in fostering sisterhood to combat the pervasive forces of white supremacy, and empowering African American women to be agents of change for future generations. She asserts that recognizing and addressing our community’s struggles is crucial, for healing is the key to moving forward. Armed with the power of education and a deep belief in collective action, Lakischa is determined to ensure that the issues impacting African American parenthood aren’t just seen—they’re addressed and resolved.