Raising Black Kings and Queens with High Self Esteem
Growing up my self esteem was slim to none. I never felt pretty being a dark skin girl. Whenever I saw images or reflections of dark skin women it was almost always in a negative light. I always thought light skin meant pretty and dark skin equaled ugly. Not to mention being called all kinds of burnt biscuits at school. This did absolutely nothing for my esteem and I diminished myself more and more. My mom who was also dark skinned always modeled a high regard of herself. She felt like she was all that and a bag a chips. And no one could tell her any different. I never saw her beating herself up over looks or even caring what others thought of how she looked. She was beautiful and she knew it. But I never embodied that feeling. I always wanted to though. The way I felt about myself growing up was no good, I feared having to introduce myself in class or having to talk about
myself to others. It was horrible.
When I became a mother, I knew I never wanted my children to feel the way I felt as a kid or even as a young adult. I promised to ensure that their self esteem would be high. We often times laugh at Dj Khaled and the way he “bigs” his son up, but I love it. That child will never have to question his GREATNESS because his dad has shown him he is nothing less of great. I want my kids to feel that way.
High self esteem is important for our black kids. Growing up black in America is a challenge within itself. With strikes already against us it seems to be hard to promote high self esteem in our black kids. Promoting it in them is necessary for them to thrive. Below I will give you five ways to build your child’s self esteem. Let’s teach our kids to love themselves.
We have to model a high self esteem in ourselves so that our kids know what that looks like. Seeing is believing and trust me if we
are around hating ourselves we teach our kids to do just that. Model a positive self image of yourself.
Praise your black child daily. Let them know they are beautiful, smart, strong, kind, amazing, etc. Need help with this refer back to DJ Khaled. (Lol) Our words have power and what we speak we believe.
Listen to your kids. Let them express themselves. Effective communication brings about confidence. Be interested in what your kids are talking about and teach them that their voice is important and powerful.
4. Do not compare!!!
Encourage your child’s uniqueness and individuality. Comparing them to others tells them they need to be like others. Encourage them to be their own dope selves.
Encourage your child’s strengths. Allow them to do the things they are good at. It builds their confidence and encourages them to try new things. Be sure to let them know that no one is perfect and it is ok to make mistakes. (This is important)
Mom’in ain’t easy, but we gotta do it! Let’s raise our queens and kings to be just that! Kings and Queens with high self esteem!
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