In this seemingly newfound age of self-care and self-awareness, we need to make sure that our attention is not being diverted from the energy of our children. The stone-cold fact about energy is that it does not lie and there is no age on who it came impact. Sometimes as parents we get so caught up in believing that our children don’t know what’s best for them. Many of us have approached motherhood with a sergeant’s tactic. A “what I say, goes” mentality. While this isn’t always incorrect, it doesn’t apply when we properly read our child’s energy. In many cases, let the child’s energy be the boss. We should never teach our children to dismiss their energy.
I’ve learned that children do not care who you are, a father, a mother, or any friend or relative. If they are not comfortable around these people or in a particular place, it will show. Conversely, if they are comfortable it too, will show. Ignoring your child’s energy not only makes them feel emotionally neglected it could also put them in harms way. Our job is to protect our children, not just physically but emotionally as well.
I had a situation where my son was supposed to visit his father for the weekend. He typically has a bit of a fuss when he has to go because his brother is mean to him at times, normal brotherly love, but he will get over it and decides he wants to head out. This weekend in particular, I could tell he did not want to go. I momentarily resisted his desire and told him he needed to go spend time with his Daddy. I asked him “Does Daddy hit you”?, ” Does he cuss at you”? ” and so on, and he answered no to every question. He mentioned Daddy and his wife argue a lot and that Daddy says loud cuss words. Basically, my son was telling me that he was not trying to spend his time around energy that felt negative; and I could respect that. I told his daddy his concerns and told him that maybe our son will be ready for him next weekend, but his mental space was not prepared to spend the weekend with him. After notifying my son that he was not going to have to go to his daddy’s house, his energy and mood changed automatically, and even though I could have used the weekend vacation, nothing compared to the release I knew he felt.
Childhood is meant to be enjoyed, stress free, and fun-filled. We have to protect our kids from those moments of discomfort that don’t help them grow in healthy ways. No matter what, we have to teach them to trust their energy, we have to show them that we trust their energy too and that we are listening even when they aren’t speaking. Just as we, as adults, can’t bare to bring things into our mental space at times. Children also can’t do it either; and to demand them to carry too much is to put them in a position of having those poor childhood memories that many of us so desperately wish we could do away with. Always remember that your child’s energy sometimes speaks louder than their words and they are depending on you to translate its meaning.
Moms of Color
Written by: Lakischa Smith