An Unfiltered Journey through Sisterhood, Single motherhood and Success
It is such a blessing to be called a mother because the experience of giving unconditional love to someone else is simply beautiful. I remember being a single mother in my early 20’s, and no one could have prepared me for the many challenges to come. The roller-coaster of emotions and the lack of sleep, financial expenses, daycare expenses, loneliness, and support are only some of the stress factors you are faced with. The constant struggles of trying to figure out who is going to pick up your child from daycare while you are still at work or hoping the bus schedule is right, so I could get to class on time. And let’s not forget about the late hours you keep when you get home from a long day. All the ups and downs of trying to figure out your next move can be disconcerting, but it can be done! Therefore, being a black single mother in America is nothing new. We are a strong and resilient race of women who are faced with being abandoned by most black fathers who gave up and decided they had enough in their relationships with both mother and child. What do we do as black mothers? We will continue to do what we have always done and that is take care of our children.
This is where the bond of family come into play. Especially the support of “sisterhood”. The maternal grandmother who taught us what we needed to know about motherhood and the aunts and sisters who step in to help take up some of the slack we needed help with. Yes, the stats are high when it comes to being a black single unmarried mother. Black men are just as responsible for playing a major role in helping to raise their child. The blatant disregard of contributing to the welfare of their child is crucial. Therefore, paying child support and/or spending quality time with their child should be an unselfish act. It is what a real father does on a regular. That is why, I do not understand how some black fathers can walk around with expensive jeans but catch an attitude and get angry when their child’s mother asks him for a lousy $50.00, and what is up with being called a bitch and a whore when you ask him for a little help financially or need him to watch his child for an hour or two. My whole premise here is not to bash all black men but to remind them of the need to be an eminent role in your child’s life. Do not lose the opportunity to see your child become a success.
According to statista.com from 1970 to 2017, there are approximately 17 million children who are the product of a single-family home. However, economically we are educating ourselves at alarming rate to provide a decent future for our children. Single mothers understand that a degree and a better paying job will ease some of the financial worry for them. It has not been easy, but I made a firm commitment to my children and every time I got into a bind, I thought about them. I cried many tears at night, but it was important to never give up. I am truly proud to be a single black mother. Being one has taught me how to pray for strength, stand on my own two feet, have courage. and provided me with the ability to never give up. I am also thankful for the support of my strong “sisterhood” who lifted me up when I would fall. I love my children dearly and would not change a thing about my life experience. It has truly made me the woman that I am today.
Author: Deborah Ford